Oh Happy Day!

I can't explain it, but sometimes there are days, or in this case nights where my thoughts ache to find their way through my fingertips and onto my computer screen.

Does that ever happen to you?

I could blame it on the two glasses of orange juice I had before bed- hello energy- but really this longing to turn thoughts into words, comes from one of the most inspiring days of my life (well, my blogging life anyway).

On Saturday I attended the Elevate Blog Conference.  Holy Macaroni was it amazing!

Have you ever seen a more beautiful location (Newport Dunes) or such fabulous little details?
 Summer, Jen and Nichole know how to throw a party!

Nat, presented our service project, Sole Hope (check it out!) and we all flexed our crafting muscles! 

Now something you ll need to know is I am not the most outgoing person.  For some reason, I have no problem spilling my guts to computer screen, but saying hello in person requires an internal pep rally.  Introductions get exponentially harder when surrounded by beautiful, stylish, crafty, eloquent and all around amazing women.

You'll see quite a few familiar faces in these photos including my favorite sparkle bunny Chrissy of
Let Me See You Sparkle. Don't ask me why I dubbed her sparkle bunny, things just happen.

Sharing a room with bloglebrities like Sarah, Erin, Kimmie and Ashley was a little intimidating to say the least.  I quickly learned these women struggle, want to quit and question themselves as much as I do, but then seek the joy in life and share their findings with the world- which made me like them all the more.

 Alissa from Rags to Stitches(who's instagram I stole this picture from!) met us for post event drinks!
Also with Lauren of Pink on the Cheek, Kristine of the Foley Fam, Nay from Coffee N Ink,
Sam from The Ellison Family Expansion Plan, April from The Gingerbread Blog
and Rachel from Polka Dots and Lemonade

I learned that like me, many of my fellow blogerettes have learned to bask in our awkwardness and find solace in the tapping of those little black computer keys.  I learned that even though I have found comfort and fluency in so many of their words painted across my computer screen, I found an even stronger kinship in person.

The swag bag and all of it's implied swag

I took away so much more than a tote filled with goodies, I took friendships, genuine connection, great advice, thoughtful words, unparalleled inspiration and an unusual comradeship I have rarely experienced before.

Here are some of my favorite quotes from our speakers:

"Your words are powerful, especially written from the heart...Use your words."
Sarah, Little Penelope Lane

"Love well online and it will love you back."
Erin, Living in Yellow

"Allow yourself to adapt, not only as a blogger, but as a woman."
Kimmie, Sugar and Dots

"That which is most personal is most universal"
Ashley, Little Miss Momma

It may have been my first blog conference, but it certainly won't be my last!  I'll be sure to let you all know when the 2014 conference is announced so you all can have the chance to feel all warm and fuzzy inside too!

What are you afraid of?

Something I have been actively working on is eliminating fear in my life.  I'm not talking about my irrational, debilitating fear of snakes, but instead the fears that have come with age.

For me, one of my biggest fear that has developed over the years is a fear of not being good enough.  It shows itself in a number of ways in all areas of my life.

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Health: I self sabotage weight loss because what if I get thin and healthy and things still don't happen like I want them to?

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Career: I'm afraid to apply for the big job because I don't want to be let down if I don't get it.  I'm afraid that I won't make enough money for the lifestyle I want to live.

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Love: I'm afraid I am unlovable or easily forgettable.  Kirsten Dunst's character says it best in Elisabethtown.  I'm afraid that I will put everything on the line and once again be abandoned to pick up the pieces alone.  When people ask me why I'm not dating I shoot off something about focusing on me and my career.

But really, what's the point?  By believing these things about myself, I am only making them true.  

Seriously, why I am afraid to be physically fit?  What's the worst that could happen?  My self esteem lifted. My comfort in a bathing suit restored. What am I even afraid of?  

And so what if I don't get a big job, but more importantly, what if I do? Financial security will never be a problem as long as I believe in my work.  

The love part is the hardest thing to overcome.  It's not that I am afraid to love someone- I have never had a problem with that.  The fear is really in letting them love me, because what if they don't.  What if they just stop loving me one day. What if their definition of love is different that mine?  Being afraid of heartbreak causes a whole mess of problems and it's not worth it.  Love is truly a magical feeling, so by avoiding it, I am only hurting myself even more.  

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I think it is healthy to identify the fears that are built on experience and work on erasing them.  Fears like mine are only holding me back from greatness and I would much rather be great than afraid.

What are you afraid of?

Words to Live By

- Ashley, Oh Wells Instead

One of my Favs

I've been using this quote for years in cover letters and when I need a reminder about my core values.  Enjoy!

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How to...

I'm really reaching with this one since it is past 10 PM and I still haven't come up with something to educate people about.  So I am going to tell you how to make every morning a little happier.

Place fresh flowers next to your bed.  Not only will you wake up to a beautiful fragrance, but the blooms will brighten your morning!  

Check out Trader Joe's for inexpensive seasonal flowers, or create your own bouquet by picking up your choice of fresh cuts.  I did both! Second only to the ocean, my favorite thing about California is the array of fresh flowers.    

Every Day in May

So, I'm joining the challenge.  Mostly because I have really been struggling to keep up with my blog, work and life.  I'm not willing to slack on my life or work, so my sweet little blog has been taking the hit.  The thing is though, I love writing, so it's time I got back to what I love, after all isn't living about filling your days with the people and things you love?  Alright then.


The Story of my Life in 250 Words

To describe myself in one word, I would say that the 27+ years that have lead up to this moment have been filled with overwhelming independence.  For starters, I was born nearly a month late, arriving on my own time.  I grew up an only child dressed in OshKosh, filling my time with imaginary adventures and elaborate games of house that took place in my backyard, climbing over furniture and balancing on the fireplace ledge.  I spent my childhood listening; fascinated by the people and relationships around me.  Soon dance entered and took over my life; a way for a shy girl to express herself outside of the spoken word.  In high school, I left my family for weeks to pursue my independence by way of acting and modeling.  This was the first time I really knew I could take care of myself without the comforts of home.  Next, it was off to college to get a degree in PR and advertising where my passion for understanding the way people interact was expanded.  Then, I was off to chasing adventure and independence once again in London.  The next few years were filled with wonderful peaks and a chasm of lows.  I found my strength and myself when I decided to embark on a new adventure, one that married my passion for communications with my aptitude for autonomy.  These days, I spend my time obsessed with my job, my friends, the simply beauty in life and the pursuit of impeccable taste.

250 words... awww snap!

Sit At The Table

"But I also know that in order to continue to grow and challenge myself, I have to believe in my own abilities.  I still face situations that I fear are beyond my capabilities.  I still have days when I feel like a fraud.  And I still sometimes find myself spoken over and discounted while men sitting next to me are not.  But now I know how to take a deep breathe and keep my hand up.  I have learned to sit at the table."

-From the book Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg, Facebook COO

I read the above excerpt today while reading Lean In, a book that has spurred some controversy.  I was interested in reading it not only because I am always fascinated by the stories and advice from professionally successful women, but also because I wanted to better understand what Sheryl Sandberg meant when she said, we can't "have it all".  Turns out, just 38 pages in, Ms. Sandberg is inspiring me to take action in my life by way of redefining my inner voice.  

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Let's take yesterdays post for example.  Before I even took the first photo I was doubting myself.  "I don't look good in pink", I thought.  "I'm not thin enough to do a style post", I convinced myself.  "This was a horrible idea", I said between shots. As soon as the other post went live, I compared myself, "they did so much better than me", "Why didn't I think of that"... I chalked the sweet comments I received up to people just being kind.  I know it is a remedial comparison, but it's not the only one that comes to mind.

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I find myself holding back all the time though because of my self doubts, in business and in life.  I have ambitious dreams, but hesitate to call them goals because I am afraid I can't reach them. I'm afraid I can't compete with people with higher degrees, with diploma's from a more prestigious school, with the family life I may have one day, with the societal norms my dreams might challenge. 

I don't always take the safe road.  I pushed my boundaries when I moved to London for an internship for three months following college.  I pushed myself upon my return to the states to get one of the coveted internships at one of the few top IMC companies in Phoenix.  Then something changed.  I will save that story for another time.  The important thing, is that girl with big plans and a bit of moxie started to come back.  

She peeped her head out when she decided it was time to shake things up and move to California.  She took another step forward by actually finding the right job and accepting it.  In her next step she left family and friends to move to a place where she knew no one.  Why am I talking about myself in the third person?  Probably because, like Ms. Sandberg, I feel a little like a fraud, especially when acknowledging my own accomplishments.  

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So what is next?  Well for one, I definitely need to finish the book and a couple other books sitting on my nightstand.  Then I need to decide what I want to be when I grow up and pursue it with vigorous passion. 

I'd love to hear from other women with big dreams/goals, women who have found personal/professional success and anyone else who is reading Lean In.  I'd love to hear your thoughts and what you are doing to lean into you successes.